PITCH WATCH ‘99
Four agencies enter. One beer leaves.
Inside the most anticipated pitch of the year.
By Hal Brubaker, Senior Editor, with reporting from several little birds
Fall, 1999
I’ve been sworn to secrecy, but, of course, I must tell you…
It’s the end of the century, and feels like we’ve all been blowing smoke up our collective you-know-whats all year long. 1999 has had some big pitches already, but this one feels bigger. I rate this the pitch of the year. We might just look back and say it was the Pitch of the Century. Surely there are no higher stakes - American Exceptionalism is on the line.
The Big Bad Brewing Behemoth of STL is launching a “New Brand for the American Century”. They’re actually calling it American Gold and it’s their latest moonshot attempt to bottle patriotism and sell it to the planet. I’m told there are true believers who think this beer can go all the way. Take over Europe. Become the toast of Asia! Just getting on the pitch has been a catfight. The four remaining agencies are about to enter what one insider accurately described as “a bloodbath with expense reports.”
The confirmed survivors? McAdams Stevens, NY, on a hot streak since the cracker account win, so much so that I’m told they’re having trouble fitting all the egos in the same conference room. London’s indie darlings Blueberry Meets Girl, whose recent Cannes performance has every holding company salivating on each other to buy them, or at least get in bed together. And the familiar hometown hitmakers who’ve never met a swamp creature they can’t turn into a campaign for the masses, Richards & Byrnes.
We’ve heard that a big Chicago shop got the shiv when the brewery boys found out one of its sister agencies had bought media for Milwaukee. Sound petty? Sure. That is, until you feel the arrogance blowing off the helipad of Mr. Brewery Scion himself.
Because of that little tragedy, we’re told Art Wanamaker’s old shop, AdWorX, slid in at the last minute, now run by Veronica Steele, Art’s daughter, who inherited his Rolodex, his reputation, and, it appears, his legal exposure. The only question we have for poor Ronni: “Isn’t your creative lead in jail?”
Meanwhile, rumors of spies, sabotage, and backdoor maneuvering are already circulating, which, in this business, is how you know the pitch has officially begun. One shop has reportedly hired a security consultant to sweep the conference room for bugs. Another, we hear, has locked up the usual suspect freelancers so nobody else can have them.
And somewhere, four CFOs are weeping quietly into their spreadsheets over the cost of it all. By the end of the month, only one of them will be smiling. The other three will pray that Y2K actually comes true.
The brewery has reportedly already booked four Super Bowl spots for the launch, meaning the moment a winner is anointed, production starts immediately. Directors, freshen your reels, and clear your January.
Until next time: keep your ideas close, and your gossip closer.
- H. Brubaker